This! This is why I love the BBC!!
That’s bloody brilliant, that is!
I SAW THAT AS WELL
let me get this straight. *grabs the nearest heterosexual* now where were we
I’m terrified of the ocean but I love what inhabits it
I don’t know what this thing is but it can probably kill you in at least six horrible ways.
It’s a Spanish Dancer!! :D It’s a type of sea slug that eats poisonous animals for breakfast and then absorbs their toxic power for itself. Their badass menu includes sea sponges and Portugese Man-O-Wars.
this badass son of a bitch eats spongebob and his family
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
SO I WAS GETTING ON THE BUS TODAY AND TO GUIDE MYSELF I GRAB THE SEATS BUT I MISSED AND GRABBED THE TOP OF THIS LIL MIDDLE SCHOOLERS HEAD LIKE A CLAW MACHINE
So, this half black/white kid got a tattoo of the Oreo barcode on his wrist
Why does it matter matter that this guy is mixed race!? You could of just written, “This kid”. Like his fucking skin colour matters! Cunt.
His bi-racial ethnicity is probably the point of the Oreo tattoo joke, cunt.
imagine this kid working as a cashier, and this one customer is pissing them off, so they just casually swipe their tattoo under the scanner, after every item, and later the customer is just like, I DONT REMEMBER BUYING FIFTY CASES OF OREOS. (via)
whenever someone asks me what tumblr is, i will show them this post
I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.
Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.
i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man
the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge
Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.
PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN
I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE
Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.
I am not a serial killer, honest.
I am seriously concerned for all of you
please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK
I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK
How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr
Dear Oppressed Writer,
Fuckyeahforensics is dedicated to all things forensics, run by a person actively in the field. Beware that there are graphic images and triggers for domestic abuse and blood and wounds and dead bodies. Take a look at their follow page for more tumblrs dedicated to the forensic sciences.
Here is a post about how autopsies happen.
Here is a post about body deterioration.
Here is a slideshow of images of the stages of decomposition of a corpse.
Here’s a post about how to bury bodies and avoid getting caught by forensic detectives.
Hope this helps!
going to underline something in pen and accidentally crossing it out
Remember there was almost another twilight book but someone leaked it so Stephanie Meyer refused to finish and I’m 98% sure it was Robert Pattinson and god bless him