doublepistolsandafuckass:

lil-miss-bi-curious:

always-little-deer:

This! This is why I love the BBC!!

That’s bloody brilliant, that is!

I SAW THAT AS WELL

doublepistolsandafuckass:

lil-miss-bi-curious:

always-little-deer:

This! This is why I love the BBC!!

That’s bloody brilliant, that is!

I SAW THAT AS WELL

kristoffbjorgman:

rapeculturerealities:

leonquwata:

 (x)

reblogging here for that tag.  always be wary of people who don’t respect your space.  always.

image

oh

megumiaino:

let me get this straight. *grabs the nearest heterosexual* now where were we

empryean:

nooby-banana:

ironychan:

ilymorgannn:

I’m terrified of the ocean but I love what inhabits it

I don’t know what this thing is but it can probably kill you in at least six horrible ways.

It’s a Spanish Dancer!! :D  It’s a type of sea slug that eats poisonous animals for breakfast and then absorbs their toxic power for itself. Their badass menu includes sea sponges and Portugese Man-O-Wars.

this badass son of a bitch eats spongebob and his family

empryean:

nooby-banana:

ironychan:

ilymorgannn:

I’m terrified of the ocean but I love what inhabits it

I don’t know what this thing is but it can probably kill you in at least six horrible ways.

It’s a Spanish Dancer!! :D  It’s a type of sea slug that eats poisonous animals for breakfast and then absorbs their toxic power for itself. Their badass menu includes sea sponges and Portugese Man-O-Wars.

this badass son of a bitch eats spongebob and his family

badassmccall:

if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances

digimoron:

SO I WAS GETTING ON THE BUS TODAY AND TO GUIDE MYSELF I GRAB THE SEATS BUT I MISSED AND GRABBED THE TOP OF THIS LIL MIDDLE SCHOOLERS HEAD LIKE A CLAW MACHINE

HE CRIED

paxamdayum:

theladypipsqueak:

hipstaa-pleazz:

heavyxhand:

xviolenceagainstviolencex:

peanuhbutta:

pleatedjeans:

So, this half black/white kid got a tattoo of the Oreo barcode on his wrist


Why does it matter matter that this guy is mixed race!? You could of just written, “This kid”. Like his fucking skin colour matters! Cunt.

His bi-racial ethnicity is probably the point of the Oreo tattoo joke, cunt.

Dead.

imagine this kid working as a cashier, and this one customer is pissing them off, so they just casually swipe their tattoo under the scanner, after every item, and later the customer is just like, I DONT REMEMBER BUYING FIFTY CASES OF OREOS. (via)

whenever someone asks me what tumblr is, i will show them this post

paxamdayum:

theladypipsqueak:

hipstaa-pleazz:

heavyxhand:

xviolenceagainstviolencex:

peanuhbutta:

pleatedjeans:

So, this half black/white kid got a tattoo of the Oreo barcode on his wrist

Why does it matter matter that this guy is mixed race!? You could of just written, “This kid”. Like his fucking skin colour matters! Cunt.

His bi-racial ethnicity is probably the point of the Oreo tattoo joke, cunt.

Dead.

imagine this kid working as a cashierand this one customer is pissing them offso they just casually swipe their tattoo under the scannerafter every itemand later the customer is just likeI DONT REMEMBER BUYING FIFTY CASES OF OREOS. (via)

whenever someone asks me what tumblr is, i will show them this post

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN
I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.
I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

kinghenrytheforuth has sent an iris message
Got anything in the area of forensic evidence/ cleanup/ disposal. I promise I'm not a sociopath,cot murderer. Just an avid writer oppressed by teachers

theinformationdump:

Dear Oppressed Writer,

Fuckyeahforensics is dedicated to all things forensics, run by a person actively in the field. Beware that there are graphic images and triggers for domestic abuse and blood and wounds and dead bodies. Take a look at their follow page for more tumblrs dedicated to the forensic sciences.

Here and here are posts about blood splatter analysis.

Here is a post about how autopsies happen.

Here is a post about body deterioration.

Here is a slideshow of images of the stages of decomposition of a corpse.

Here’s a post about how to bury bodies and avoid getting caught by forensic detectives.

Hope this helps!

fuckyeahforensics:

April 20, 1999.

poemsofthequiet:

blackbanshee:

Seven week old puppies playing with mommy.

mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! mom! 

this is the best thing ever

unmatespritship:

going to underline something in pen and accidentally crossing it out

image

egggggggs:

queerpropaganda:

how cute is it that humans make homes for birds??? humans are so cute

pretty cute, but when was the last time a bird made a house for a human? that’s right, never. it’s time it fucking goes both ways.

stability:

floral-ink:

stability:

why is my bedroom always so hot

maybe because it holds a portal to hell because satan himself thinks you’re a cutie and is reaching from the depths of hell to touch that booty

i love the science side of tumblr

hobbitofthemotherfuckinshire:

Remember there was almost another twilight book but someone leaked it so Stephanie Meyer refused to finish and I’m 98% sure it was Robert Pattinson and god bless him

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